If It Acts Like A Child And Feels Like A Child . . .
The dreams came in like needy children, tugging at my sleeve
I said, “I have no way of feeding you, so leave”.
Prince of Darkness – Indigo Girls
Hmmm. Well.
Ater I wrote and then re-read yesterday’s entry about food-addiction-related cravings, I was struck with how obvious it seemed.
All the pondering I’ve done about what it is that I need or want that I’ve been trying to satisfy with food came to a halt when I read my own words, describing the craving as feeling like a child desperate for attention and my overeating as a way to push that child into submission and silence. I thought, Duh. Could it be the child-part of me, needing my attention?
I talked with Sister when I saw her last night, and wondered aloud what sort of attention the child-part of me could need. What could I do that would make that child-part feel appreciated, acknowledged, paid-attention-to?
“Have fun?” I asked, feeling like the kid who got the pop-quiz answer right, expecting Sister to tap her nose like they do in Charades.
Ok. So.
It was actually synchronistic that I saw Sister last night. She’d emailed in the morning to say her cell phone wasn’t working. She and Mom and I are on one plan together. On my lunch hour, I went to the local store near where I work, described the message she was getting, and asked what we needed to do. She had a bad sim card, they said, and because there isn’t a store local to where she lives and works in another county, they gave me a new sim card for her. We met after work at the Outback Restaurant that is about halfway between, and we had dinner.
I did really well on my IF Ratings during dinner. I had a small steak, sweet potato, and seasonal veggies (broccoli, summer squash, carrots, and snap peas), and then we shared a brownie sundae (not so good on the IF ratings, but worth it), mainly because I just get so tickled at being able to have a brownie sundae in public (it’s gluten free!).
As I was thinking about how to go about having fun and amusing my inner child, I commented that said child was enjoying that sundae. Then it occurred to me that it wouldn’t always be a good idea to have a sundae as a way of amusing my inner child if the purpose of amusing my inner child were to not use food to make her be quiet.
I told Sister about my therapist asking me what other ways I could comfort myself, other than using comfort food. I had a hard time with that one, but I brought up that I often comfort myself by watching TV (the mindlessness of my viewing habits varying in direct relation to how stressed or depressed I am). But, I realized, I often eat while I watch TV and I associate the two pretty strongly.
But I figured it out last night.
I’m going to buy a coloring book and crayons, and when I’m watching TV and the child starts to tug at my sleeve, we’re going to color.
*Smile*
Wednesday, July 8th 2009 at 12:59 pm |
Sounds like a wonderful start!
Wednesday, July 8th 2009 at 3:58 pm |
I love coloring. Sometimes I sit down with my grandchildren and color. They may leave the table to play elsewhere but I stay there and finish my work. It’s fun and relaxing! Enjoy yourself.
Wednesday, July 8th 2009 at 6:01 pm |
I think this shows great insight into your unfulfilled needs. Well done, you! The colouring is indeed a great start… can I do some too? 😉
Wednesday, July 8th 2009 at 8:33 pm |
Hi,
Coloring is a great idea. Perhaps you could ask your inner child what she would like to do, sometimes the answer might not come right away and it might be a surprise, but usually it is a good answer.
I love coloring. I like to do 100 piece puzzles for kids. Drawing. Collecting riddles and jokes. Getting and reading kid’s magazines. Making crafts from kid’s magazines and craft books for kids. I know of some that are great, if you would like a few titles. Watch Animal Planet and cartoons. Stuff like that.
I have a list of things I love to do. A list of things that the littles love to do. And now the Bliss List.
Good and healing thoughts to you.
Kate
Friday, July 10th 2009 at 2:20 pm |
Yeah, I don’t always admit this, but I do have some favorite cartoons (Spongebob and Jimmy Neutron among them). 🙂
I might need to add them to my Bliss List, although my Bliss List is a mixture of kid-stuff and other stuff.